Understanding the link between addiction and divorce is important to determine the next step for couples working to resolve their marital issues. Many books address the challenges of an individual getting sober from substance use disorders. However, it is rare to read a book that integrates the parallel recovery process that is necessary for couples in which one individual is in sobriety and the other is not. Along with infidelity divorce after sobriety and domestic violence, substance abuse is commonly reported as one of the most common “final straws” among people in the United States who seek divorce. In a small study from 2013, 34.6% of participants named substance abuse as a primary reason for why they were seeking a divorce. This can cause significant financial stress for couples and families and may be even further compounded by other costs related to addiction.
The Ways That Addiction Stresses A Marriage
Forgive yourself for the things you think you should have done, or the things you wish you hadn’t done. Forgive your ex for whatever injury you feel he or she caused throughout the marriage or during the divorce. Your ex need not necessarily even know that you have forgiven, or you might choose to write a letter or let him or her know in person. Dr. Frederick Luskin’s book, Forgive For Good, has a very practical, step-by-step model of forgiveness. Divorce recovery takes some time—months or even years.
- Life as a single parent is often a delicate balancing act, especially when coupled with the challenges of maintaining sobriety and re-entering the dating world after a divorce.
- It may be helpful to think of your post-divorce life as a new beginning, not an end.
- I had put down some serious time in permanent sobriety.
Commonly Abused Substances
Drew Barrymore got sober after drinking to ‘numb the pain’ of divorce – Page Six
Drew Barrymore got sober after drinking to ‘numb the pain’ of divorce.
Posted: Tue, 27 Dec 2022 08:00:00 GMT [source]
Substance abuse and substance addiction, or SUD, are two separate terms. Recent best sellers have reached for a familiar feminist credo, one that renounces domestic life for career success. You need to give yourself the space to process that loss and experience all the stages of grief–denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, eventually, acceptance. “Suddenly, I had things from all of my friends that are real and tangible and not ephemeral,” she said. “I look at my plates and I know exactly who they’re from. My friends say it feels good to be able to give something solid and real to us.” The situation, she said, was “kind of scary.” Originally from Washington state, her closest family and friends are scattered around the country.
How Divorce Impacts Your Addiction Recovery Journey
- When I stopped drinking, I told Sheri I got sober for her.
- During the treatment process, it might be helpful to discuss codependency issues with the help of a substance abuse counselor.
- You and your spouse will have much more control of the outcome when you choose mediation or a Collaborative Divorce.
- I gave up the other love of my life, my beer and whiskey, because I thought that’s what needed to happen to repair my marriage.
About 40 to 50 percent of US marriages lead to divorce, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). But for most couples experiencing substance use, life after sobriety isn’t so smooth. This is because of the way long-term substance use has affected both partners as well as the relationship itself. Some couples can thrive immediately after the addicted partner becomes sober.
Divorce Can Be A Risk Factor For Substance Use
- Choose a legal process that keeps you out of court, if at all possible.
- As times go by and circumstances change, you may want to review your agreement and make changes.
- When I would take sobriety out for a test drive, I remembered the many occasions from the past when I had done wrong and apologized.
- Seeking divorce from a spouse who is struggling with addiction, or in early recovery from addiction, can be confusing.
Enabling your spouse can have harmful effects on your own wellbeing, as well as that of your spouse—even when you mean well. Enabling behaviors can impede your spouse from seeking addiction treatment or progressing in their treatment. Addiction can affect virtually all areas of a person’s life. Within a marriage, this can show up in many different ways. First, addiction can impact a person’s ability to work, often resulting in worsened job performance, job loss, and difficulty finding a job.
Let yourself feel
One (or both) partner’s substance use can become the source of arguments. According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), couples in which at least one partner lives with substance use disorder are often more unhappy than other couples. Addicted people also experience severe withdrawal symptoms after stopping use.
She created Hello Divorce to make divorce easy, kind, and affordable. His absence from our home gave me the necessary space to process how addiction had turned our lives upside down so quickly. The single most driving emotion I needed to heal was anger. We had become enmeshed, and I saw this as my fault. The time alone gave me space to do my own soul work and attend to my own life. Divorce, while closing one chapter of life, also opens the door to self-discovery.
You can find a local or virtual support group, and access additional resources, on their website. It’s recommended that the supportive partner seeks their own support during the recovery process. You may consider individual therapy or a peer-led support program like Al-Anon. These mental health symptoms can last longer than the withdrawal period, especially if the person with SUD hasn’t learned healthy coping mechanisms to deal with unwanted feelings. Social media is full of what I refer to as rainbows and cotton candy posts about sobriety from addiction.
